During my freshman year of high school, I experienced my first "real" heartbreak, when I learned that the boy I had been staring at in class for the past year didn't think of me in a ~crush~ way (and why would he, I had never talked to him?) So I decided to make a playlist that stayed in my Spotify library for almost 7 years after that - my sad song playlist. I haven't updated it in a while, but since I was 15 I've been adding the best sad and somber songs that I've found over the years. I love sad songs -- I prefer writing them, and when I listen to records I find myself immediately drawn to them. I think it's because I have a naturally sensitive and cynical disposition, and I feel emotions very deeply. One of my favorite moments when listening to a song is when a specific line is delivered so emotionally that it makes you pause for a second while you try to pull it together.
On my Instagram story today, I shared that I'd written a song with very sad lyrics but that there really wasn't anything super sad going on in my life at that time. I find that my songwriting style pulls from specific emotions and experiences that I've felt in the past and amplifies them into an emotional moment that may not fit the current state of my life. For example, I find it a lot easier to write about being in love when I'm in the midst of heartbreak, and vice versa. And as always, I take a lot of pride in my sad songs. I think that my lyrics and style are much better when writing from a deep, emotional place in my heart, rather than a hopeful one. I tend to stay away from hope, spitting out lines such as "Take me to my grave," and "A naked soul / no self control / I feel so small / and so depressed" instead. I've had people text me after hearing the former, asking if I was suicidal. And I think for people who don't have an extremely sensitive or emotional disposition like I do, it can be dark and worrisome. But there's no better feeling than bearing my pain, and wearing it proudly. Even if I've never faced seriously "sad" events in my life, writing songs gives me so much freedom. I can create versions of myself that aren't really there, explore different characters, and experience new emotions. At the end of the day, it doesn't matter if I've actually felt those things. If my audience likes it, appreciates it, and interprets it in way that relates to them somehow, then I consider the song successful.
While I have a 7-year running playlist full of sad songs that I love, there are some that I always go back to when I want to go to an emotional place or if I'm in a hard part of my life.
A Change of Heart - The 1975
The1975 is such a moody band and that's something I really love about them. This song really hits you in the gut because it focuses on the simple yet heartbreaking experience of someone you love just changing their mind on you. Such a killer.
Favorite line: "I've been so worried bout you lately, you look shit and you smell a bit."
Hard Feelings/Loveless - Lorde
This song really broke my heart the first time I heard it. It's just reassuring to listen to when you're in the midst of a heartbreaking situation, and to hear "hey, love has some hard feelings and that's just the way it is."
Favorite line: "Please could you be tender, and I will sit close to you. Let's give it a minute before we admit that we're through."
Holocene - Bon Iver
This song is not only one of my all-time favorites, but also my favorite song when I'm feeling any type of way. It's my right hand, my go-to, my absolute favorite. I'll never get tired of it.
Favorite line: "And at once I knew I was not magnificent."
Forest Fires - Lauren Aquilina
I found Lauren Aquilina on YouTube a few years ago and absolutely fell in love with her voice and her sad songs. She's the queen of them. She wrote a whole album of them basically. This song is my favorite by her and gives me chills every time.
Favorite line: "And as I keep my quiet, you're running with the tigers, you're running just to run from me. And I don't blame you."
O - Coldplay
A real tear-jerker, but also super hopeful and that's what I love about it. Comparing love to a flock of birds is just like, amazing? Go Chris Martin ily.
Favorite line: "Fly on, ride through, maybe one day I can fly with you."
Giving Up - Ingrid Michaelson
My girl INGRID. In this song she proves that sometimes the saddest song can be the simplest. She just uses a simple guitar strum and some harmonies, and honestly? This song hits me in the gut every single time.
Favorite line: "What if I fall further than you? What if you dream of somebody new?"
Maybe We're Meant to Be Alone - Bad Suns
A particularly brutal song about the pretty brutal experience of coming to a pretty brutal realization... maybe we're meant to be alone.
"When you're torn in two, who can you trust?"
Over Now - Post Malone
A recent find, but this song makes me feel EVERYTHING. It's angry, sad, messy, brutal, vulgar -- everything a hard breakup is. It's about pain and jealousy and it makes you feel so much and you can tell that Post Malone is also feeling emotional. It's a really beautiful song and I go hard to this while pregaming, but it's also great when I need to have a heavy cry.
Favorite line: "I was an idiot, begging on my knees on to the floor, now I don't even want you anymore."
Blood Under the Bridge - Frightened Rabbit
Frightened Rabbit is overall a great emotional alt-rock band whose album "Paintings of a Panic Attack"got me through some hard times. This song is so hopeful to me.
Favorite line: "I found the way to make the best of a flaw, and realize it's not the end, it's an uncomfortable pause."
This Is the Last Time - The National
The most hopeful sad song I've ever heard, this song has been with me through so many highs and lows. Easily my favorite song from The National, it brings me to tears basically every time I hear it. I can't say enough about this song. Getting emotional just thinking about it??
Favorite line(s): "Oh, but your love is such a swamp, you don't think before you jump."
OR "I won't be waiting anymore, I won't be vacant anymore."
Those are some of my all-time favorites. Of course, I have tons more, so if you want to listen to them on a somber day, I'll link a few of my sad playlists here, here, and here.
I leave you with the message that it's okay to be sad and angry and to feel emotions other than pure happiness and productivity and motivation. We all need a good cry once in a while and it's okay to bear your pain and show people that you are, in fact, a human being with emotions! Never be afraid to show sadness -- I find that it makes the most beautiful art.
Love,
Virg
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